The feelings of today — It’s one of those awkward moments where you just feel invisible to the world.

Yesterday was Thursday and it was such a beautiful day. My eldest son who I am visiting temporarily is home for a week then he will be leaving out of town again for work. How my heart aches for this son of mine caring for 15 people including his own family of 8 without no complaints.

My son took me and some family members out for brunch. We had such a great time and the day was just right. Here in the south, the trees are starting to show off its greenery. You can stare into the greenery woods and be lost in your thoughts. That is what I saw while we headed to Chattanooga for brunch – We ate at the Forbidden City restaurant.

God bless this humble child of mine.

When actions speak louder than words. A family separated by misfortunes after the death of my dearest best friend aka as my sister in Christ.

FA’AFETAI LAVA TASI MA Jay Tuileta:

PHOTO: The prepping of the future marker for you sis, and the photo that will be centered – yeah!!!!

It’s 2:39am here in Cleveland, and I’m up writing on my website.

Then my mind comes to you as always you pop in and out *winks* After speaking with your husband yesterday, we had a great conversation. O lo’o lelei mea uma sis Iva Tuileta – I can see the many future goals that your hubby has for all of your children. Fa’afetai lava Tasi mo lou alofa ma lou agalelei.

Sis, you married someone that has a heart of gold just like yours — you see people — ACTIONS speak much louder than words, what you hear does not pair up with the Actions that have been shown. I know at times I feel distant when I don’t get the answers about everyone. But I’m straight, it’s part of my “sisterly love” for you and I had to vent.

THEN….. this entered my messenger a couple of days ago and I got emotional. Your hubby paid for it all! I’m so proud of the determination that Raider Nation Tasi has fulfilled. I remember him asking me if I know about your marker? Through conversation with your family members, it’s a NO BUENO, NO WIN WIN! How disappointing this is.

I know this is something that we as Samoan’s struggle with, the big crowd, the big feastings, the fine mats and what not, the funds donated contributed are either not enough or come up missing in one’s pocket LMBO!!!! Sole! then the marker? I know, I experienced this same thing with my father’s marker – you then ask yourself? WhyTF did we feed all these damn people for? and we don’t even know half of them. Oh trust me I know— and refuse to let time repeat itself now that my children are older and wiser.

E leai se mo’i! We need to do better and budget or life insurance at hand. Since my parents have passed on, I don’t do fa’alavelave’s — nor I am obligated to anyone, nor they are to me. I’m straight! My love on this earth for all that have passed on speaks volumes and volumes of action. I love you sis – Rest now sister dearest, Rest now! You have no debt whatsoever.